I think there are only about 5 people who actually read my blog and a few of you already know I'm pregnant, and those of you who didn't only didn't know because I didn't see you in person and I was too lazy to call haha.  Today I am 11 weeks along and we were planning on telling people and making it facebook news next week, but instead we are going to have to keep it a secret longer because of some bad news we got yesterday.  Since only a few people read this and you are all people I would tell about the pregnancy I figured I would update on here instead of having to call or talk to everyone.  

First of all this pregnancy hasn't gone as perfectly as the first, but it also hasn't been a horrible pregnancy either.  I haven't thrown up at all but I do have cramps all the time and feel sick often.  Sleeping is super hard and painful, but I am also exhausted and take naps every time Owen is napping.  When I was pregnant with Owen I could eat snacks to keep me from getting sick, but this time I have to eat actual meals :( Which means I have been eating fast food a million times a day because I am way too tired to cook.  Hopefully that will change with time.  

Yesterday was a bad day.  It actually started out great, since Sunday I have started getting my energy back and Tuesday was looking to be the same.  I went jogging with my sister in law like normal and came home to clip coupons.  My poor Uncle stopped in for an unexpected visit and by the end probably was hoping he hadn't come haha.  All was well until he was about to leave and we were standing in the kitchen filling his water bottle for the ride when he called my brother to see if we could all go to lunch really quick before he headed home.  While I was standing there listening I felt something coming out that wasn't stopping so I looked down and saw my pants quickly getting covered in blood :( I ran to bathroom and was soaked.  I cleaned up a bit and went to call my doctor when my Uncle hung up and awkwardly said goodbye and left.  He had no idea what was going on.  Haha.  I called the doctor  while standing in the bathtub in a little puddle of blood.  The nurse said since I wasn't cramping or seeing clumps there was still a chance, but since there was so much blood it wasn't likely the baby was still alive.  She told me to call her back in a bit to see how things were going. I texted my uncle to explain and he felt really bad and stupid that he didn't realize it was a miscarriage haha.  Matt came home early and we called when the cramping started.  They had me come in and we were super surprised to see that the baby had a heartbeat!!! I had already cried and basically accepted that I had had a miscarriage, so it was kind of a huge shocker, then there was the question of all the blood.  The nurse didn't  know anything and we had to wait for AN HOUR to see the doctor!  It was killer.  

He said there is a spot where my placenta isn't connected.  My blood runs from my body to the placenta and in this spot the blood is basically going into the uterus and runs out.  He said it might have been 11 weeks worth of blood that came out which could be why there was so much.  He said there is no way of knowing how big or small the spot is and no way of knowing how serious it is.  There is no way to prevent what happened or no way to fix it.  I can't do bed rest or surgery or pills or anything to help the chances of having a healthy baby or even having one at all.  The chances of having a miscarriage anytime during the pregnancy went up, so did chances of preterm labor and abnormal growth for the baby. SO SAD!! 

The doctor said i will probably bleed often, or like this time a whole bunch at once.  He said I can go in anytime it happens and make sure the baby is okay.  He said I will get horrible cramps every time I bleed and I will have to stop exercising and things for a week or two after the bleeding so it can stop instead of getting worse.  He said I will for sure have an ultrasound at the next appointment and probably most or all of them, which is nice.  

Since there is still a good chance of miscarriage we decided we aren't going to tell anyone until I start showing and then we will explain that there is still a chance the pregnancy wont last so we aren't really getting too excited about it.  Which is the worst.  I don't want to have a miscarriage later on when the baby is actually a baby.  When we know a gender and a name and everything.  That would be horrible.  If it has to happen I hope it happens soon, but I really hope it doesn't happen at all.  

On a good note, Owen rocks.  He gets cuter everyday.  Yesterday he was extra happy, he smiled and laughed at my uncle and the nurses, which is super rare.  Usually when he is around other people he glares haha.  He is very serious most of the time.  He is getting much better at sleeping, we are doing the crying thing because we were exhausted.  His new dance is more of a march.  He says mamamamama when he is crying from being hungry or falling or something but when he is tired he says ninininininite.  He will randomly say dada when Matt walks in the room :)  He loves to kick balls, I think he likes kicking more than throwing.  We also got an aquarium and he LOVES the fish.  He goes to stare at them all the time.  When he wakes up in the morning and walks into the living room the first place he goes is the fish tank :)  He is a cutie!  I will have to take some pictures soon!! 

Matt has some exciting news too, he is going to sell alarm systems this summer instead of roofing.  Which i think he will enjoy a million times more.  He is really excited and is going to spend the summer in Louisiana.  I will probably have to stay in Idaho close to the doctor most of the time, but I will hopefully visit Montana often!  

Jamie  – (March 14, 2013)  

Hey, I am so sad I didn't get to talk to you on Sunday with all my Primary shenanigans, and I am even more sorry now after reading all this. I can only imagine how horrible this is and I am so sorry. It's so crazy to have to live for several months without really knowing what to do or what to expect, and I know you already love that baby, so it's kind of a nightmare. I hope you wont' be alone too much this summer and you have help with Owen. I had hellacious pregnancies, but never this scary. My heart goes out to you and I wish all 3 of you the best. And it's almost birthday time for shmo...so exciting! love you!

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